Symposium Survival

Having attended my first scientific symposium a few weeks ago and having a less-than-seamless experience, I'd like to share a few tips about symposiums and conferences. If you don't attend these name tag-wearing extravaganzas, maybe you can apply this to any kind of chaotic and energy consuming activity where you are forced to talk to random people. A wedding? A funeral (maybe not so much)? Also please accept my cynical views and just laugh at them. That's what I do.

1. Get ready for the "ice breaker". This is going to be shitty. In my case, we were herded as cows in heels and slacks into a small plot of grass and told to go around with sheets finding someone who had "never broken a bone" or "knows how to play an instrument" and successively checking them off the sheet. What fun. Sometimes we didn't even exchange names in the carnivorous fight to be the first to check everything off the sheet. Did I mention this was in 80 degree LA weather? No big deal right? Well San Francisco likes to refrigerate us at about 55 degrees so this was a shocker. My point here: wear cool clothes and sunglasses and bring some water. That is all.

2. You will be tired because they shuffle you this where and that. The first keynote speech with be long and boring. This is a rule. You will look around the room and see EVERYONE nodding off. The speaker will be going through a series of "stories" about his scientific discoveries and when he says he has ONE MORE story you will fantasize about standing up and saying "actually I think the first two will just about cover it, thanks." The main point comes when they finally release you to retrieve your dinner. If you drink coffee: have some. If you don't normally drink coffee and you pour yourself a cup, think to yourself "what the hell am I doing???!!!!!" and toss it on the person next to you in disgust. I didn't follow this rule, resulting in later catastrophe from caffeine overdose.

3. All the people at these things have one thing on their mind: "I'm hot shit." Why? Because this is probably their first symposium and they're really excited about their research and they are in their mid-20s and haven't escaped the self-involved phase of their life yet. It's OK. Just roll with it. Think about how you are at least more than tepid shit. You are edging up to hot in some ways. You possess hotness somewhere inside (in more ways than one!) Positive thinking will help you deal with all these ivy-league randoms that keep bombarding you with details of all their research.

4. Grab some alone time. Go ahead. Ditch one session and take a nap! I did it. Other people did it the whole time and man did those people have fun in LA.

5. If you muck up an explanation of your research in front of a table full of total strangers (a la Caitlin), curse life for being such a bitch and move on. (And don't hit that coffee again). All in all, you really just aren't that important to these people right now and they won't remember you in a week's time. Score!

6. OK OK. If I must. Try and learn something, people! You're here for a reason. Mine was science! Go nerds! If there's a time and place to be a total geek, it's now! Ask questions and be curious. That's what science is all about after all. There's surely going to be at least one interesting talk (Dr. Charles Craik on his career and study of proteases for the win!)

7. Shed the symposium once you leave. What happens in LA stays in LA. I'm enthusiastically throwing away my name tag right now.

Boulder vs. San Francisco CITY DEATHMATCH!!!

On this episode of BOULDER vs. SAN FRANCISCO, we look at key points of awesomeness and key points of crappiness between the two very different cities. This exercise serves to remind us, when we forget, why we are in one or the other. In the future, it can serve to remind us what we love about where we are not.

Boulder is AWESOME:

-The mountains are ridiculous (meaning wonderful)
-FAMILY. I love you guys. Enough said.
-The aching nostalgia of childhood, teenage hood, etc. (strangely enough, this is a good thing for me)
-Knowing where shit is!!!
-Effrain's, Southern Sun, Lucile's, Bookend.
-Oh yeah! My friends! I love you guys too.
-The seasons are explicit and I look forward to each and every one

Boulder can be crappy...:

-How long have I lived there? Oh yeah. MY WHOLE LIFE.
-Oh look!!! There's a black person!!! The first one I've seen in TEN YEARS.
-The sometimes wealthy/pretentious/overly liberal vibe=no good
-I run into someone I know everywhere I go. This can be good and bad but it gets tiring.

San Francisco is AWESOME:
-It's a brand new place with brand new everything: people, restaurants, streets, sights, weather.
-I, with my red hair and blue eyes, am most definitely in the minority. This is nice.
-UCSF is a good school!
-There is food from nearly every country available. Also there are crazy cheap Japanese stores with really good tupperware. This is probably a very personal positive point...
-I don't run into someone I've known since preschool everywhere I go! Neat!
-Big city culture! Art, performance and other goodies.

San Francisco can be crappy...:
-I've found the best restaurant EVER!!!! Oh wait...there are billions of other places I haven't tried so I can't really say that...
-It can get lonely here. There's no one I went to preschool with.
-Can we get some sunshine? Oh...no we can't? Ok. That's a little sad. (Note: the Mission district actually is a weird pocket of sunshine and that's where I'd like to live if I come back)
-There aren't distinct seasons here and there's definitely no whimsical snowfall in the winter so I've heard.
-It's a big city: big city smells, big city trash, big city pocket pickers and other annoyances.

This doesn't do either place justice and they are difficult to compare because of their vast differences. It's just nice to think about the great features and not so great features because I'll probably live in both places again in the future (Boulder for sure: see you in five days!).

As for SF, thanks for all the excitement these past couple months. I think I got my share of Asian food and awkward bus experiences. I'll be back. Give me a sunny day when I get here.

Shuttle Breeze

Here in SF we are lucky enough to have a shuttle take us to where we need to go (albeit after one bus ride) in the morning for lab work at UCSF Mission Bay. My day today was fulfilling. I was productive in Dr. Jennifer Fung's lab, where I continued to practice the fine art of dissecting yeast tetrads under a microscope with a tiny needle that I, myself, "pulled" from two small glass capillary tubes under a flame. It's very meticulous work indeed, but quite satisfying to feel myself getting better and better at the process. Later this week I will be able to analyze my dissected tetrads for spore viability as Dr. Fung's research begins to come full circle for me.

Also today, I strolled through the cheerful Wednesday farmer's market held outside of my building, Genentech Hall (an interesting story about how this hall came to be owned by UCSF later). I had cherries on my mind. I bought a pound of some of the best cherries I ever had. I ate about a third of them as I walked back to my lab.

When I left today, I hopped on the waiting shuttle thinking "perfect timing". I sat in the back, and as we pulled away a small window offered a cooling, delicate breeze. I popped cherries in my mouth, recognizing some of the same people I see on the sidewalks of downtown San Francisco every day. About ten different delicious food smells wafted in through the window as we went. I kept eating my cherries. It was a good day.

I'm Not a Liar

Barking, flopping around, doing flips, spewing saliva: all things I did today. Alright I'm kidding. But the sea lions sure did! And I had spent all day telling people how the sea lions had mysteriously disappeared from Pier 39, one hot spot at the bustling tourist mecca, Fisherman's Wharf. I had read this somewhere (like at http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2009/12/disappearing-sea-lions/) and my heart was broken because damn! those sea lions are cute. Fat and loud, but cute. I like to watch them knock each other off the floating wood (docks? mini piers?)

My reputation here in SF was forming swimmingly. What that reputation is, I'm not sure of, but now there's a little post-it on my rep that says: liar. Don't worry, people don't actually think I'm a full-out fibber, but when we arrived at the Wharves the sea lions were flopping and blubbering in all their glory. And here I thought I was delivering the news.

Blue Van Blues

I have arrived in San Francisco and, from a "writer's" perspective, the trip here was disappointingly devoid of hang ups. From an optimist's perspective, the trip was seamless. The only striking moment was the ride to the airport. I took a blue van to the airways and on the highway, we came upon a fellow blue van. I pictured the RTD bus drivers back in the quickly disappearing land of Boulder, smiling cheerily as they passed each other on the roads, going opposite directions. And because all things are cheery, I expected the blue van comrades to flash a grinning wave at one another. Not the case. The highway began to reek of mild road rage as they passed one another back and forth, speeding, my driver shaking his head at the other. My driver did flash something at one point: a peace sign (not the middle finger you devil!). And if you can picture a sarcastic peace sign, that's what it was. Yes. A sarcastic bunny ear. I tried for a brief while to comprehend this classic notion of peace with a layer of sarcasm smeared on top of it but it just didn't seem to fit and my curiosity dwindled.

And so it was, I left Boulder in the early hours, a grumpy driver as my guide. And now, I sit in my teeny, old dorm room with my door propped open by my trashcan in order to appear friendly. Wait, I mean, to show how friendly I am! Come on in guys!!! I figure it's time for some more social activity today after my long solitary walk this morning, something that filled me with more pleasure than my day of group activities yesterday. By far. But I'm working on it. Slowly but surely.

Almighty Post Two

Post two consists of little. It is a plan. Somewhat pathetically, post two merely consists of an idea for future posts. I will track my time in the beautiful San Francisco, California over the next two months. I will admit, these posts will be mostly selfish. Why? They will serve as a journal-type recording possibly more for my own emotional release and the interest of my mom (hi mom!). Hopefully interest will be sparked in at least one other person along the way, but if not, more power.....to my mom. And while I have everyone on the edge of their seats...I won't begin until May 30th! So you can all relax. Have a cup of tea. Think dreamy thoughts of the steep hills of San Fran, the orange glow of the setting sun casting a gorgeous light on the blissful scenery. I'm looking forward to my time there.

François sur l’autobus (or "French on the bus" for us ingrates with a French deficiency)

So here’s the story. I’m on the bus and it’s probably been one of THOSE days. Those days where I need to listen to semi-intense music loudly on my Ipod on the bus ride home. I’ve probably skipped about 23 songs to find the one suited for this particular trip. I’m also sitting as close to the back door of the bus as I possibly could maneuver without sitting on the two steps leading me off the bus entirely. My feet are slightly propped and well, you know, I’m looking at the bus driver’s reflection and remembering my times with this particular bus engineer, if you will.

We’re making a swift left on Baseline when I realize that there is a multiple passenger conversation taking place. Not wanting to miss out on this rarity, I coolly remove my earphones. It seems there is a woman speaking French and only French to the confused bus driver. She goes on without pause and I’m reminded of being in Paris with my piteous French skills reverberating against the walls of every restaurant we enjoyed. It was after about thirty seconds of this affair that someone also in the back of the bus spoke up, in French! Might I also add that, not surprisingly, I knew this girl from somewhere… She spoke beautifully all the way to the front of the bus. She was flawless, saying only the universal “McDonald’s” in English. It became crystal clear the Frenchwoman merely needed to know where to get off, McDonald’s being a landmark.

Well, a contemplative state must have come over me because this occurrence had great meaning. What struck me about the busload was everyone’s concerned face when the communication between the passenger and driver was unsuccessful. It was human nature and ultimate necessity that the communication attempt succeeds. Everyone, and I mean everyone, was on the edge of their seat when the learned young lady in the back saved the day. We all relaxed. I put my headphones back in. The relief that blanketed the passenger folk was a beautiful thing. I concluded that we all inherently wanted people to communicate successfully. We all really wanted this woman to find her destination and we would have been damned if she got off before McDonald’s. We could all move on with our ride, and everyone on the bus knew where they were going!